A Reason to Play
by Batty Angel
Summary: NaruGaa, oneshot. Naruto has stopped playing the violin, that is until a certain red head inspires him to play again. Boy love :3


Inspired by a conversation on DA and slightly based on my own life :)

This is told from Naruto's point of view, I just like the idea of him playing the violin XD

--

Music can sometimes be the best voice for your emotions.

My voice use to be the violin... until the day I stopped playing, believing I would never touch the instrument again.

I started when I was very little and was taught by my father. I can remember his face was always smiling, almost glowing whenever I played a note right. He made me feel so safe and happy. I was never good at playing recognizable tunes like 'Mary had a Little lamb' or something like that, but I could make up my own songs. It didn't matter since my father seem to enjoy it more when I went on a creative roll.

Sometimes they would last for a few minutes and other times I could keep playing for a good half an hour. Once, I think I played for more than an hour when my father was watching me. It made me feel so good. The feel of the sounds as I drag the bow over the strings to release the beautiful music, the way I held it made me think of the way a mother would cradle a child with care and love... but above all, I knew the person I loved the most in my life at the time was listening to me and best of all knowing that he too enjoyed listening to me. I wanted it to last forever.

But it didn't.

I wasn't there the day he had died. Instead I was at school, messing around in class and getting yelled at constantly to behave. I can remember how much I had truly laughed in those days, how happy I was even though I wasn't the best student in the world- not even in music since the teacher frowned upon creativity when I should have been following the rest of the school band's music. I think I was happy because I had thought that no matter what happened, even if he did scold on me for causing trouble, there was that bit of faith in me - which believed that he would always be there to love and to listen to me.

I never would have thought of a car accident being the thing that took him away from me. I was only seven... Perhaps I thought my father was immortal and could never die. I guess I was wrong.

After the day the police officer came to my school and told me about the accident, playing the violin became too painful to bare.

Maybe it was because of all my memories being filled with my father and the violin. In my mind the two were so tightly intertwined together in my heart, it was unimaginable that such an important person and the object so heavily connected to that person being separated from each other.

The last time I can remember playing the violin was at my father's funeral. I couldn't cry, so I had allowed the notes to be the tear's in my song. It was long and could have lasted as long as my own heartbreak, but I was eventually stopped by my father's friend Kakashi. He had placed a hand on my shoulder and looked at me with such sympathy, telling me to stop. That was the moment I broke down, subconsciously letting the bow slip through my fingers and hugging the violin close to my own small body. Tears trickled down from the corners of my eyes as I sobbed loudly, feeling the presence of the adult close by.

I was taken in by the tall pale guy, who I soon discovered was a student of my father a long time ago. I can remember the black scarf wrapped around the lower part of his face had obscured the rest of his facial features, although I did see that there was a scar over his left eye - but I never asked about it. I just picked up my bow and followed him to my new home.

I found out that Kakashi also had two other kids under his care; the Uchiha brothers, Sasuke and Itachi.

At first I wanted nothing more than to be left alone in the room I was sharing with the younger brother, Sasuke. But the silence was driving me insane and I felt like I had to create some sort of noise. I did think about playing the violin, which was lying down right beside me on the bed, but Sasuke had entered the room to retrieve a book from his bed side table. I think I was too scared to play in front of anyone at the time.

Instead of ignoring him, I finally spoke up to break the maddening silence.

"Hey, you're Sasuke right?"

I had smiled even though I didn't feel like doing so, even though by the look Sasuke was giving me I think he knew that my expression was fake.

He just nodded as a response and sat on his own bed to read said book. I didn't want the quietness to return so I decided on bugging the dark haired boy.

"What you reading?"

"The Iron Giant."

"Any good?"

"It's okay I guess..."

"Any fight scenes?"

"Not that I'm aware of."

"What's it about?"

"Well if I was able to finish reading it, then maybe I could answer that question." the annoyed tone in his voice did not discourage me.

Eventually, the book was thrown at my face which had started a big fight between us which was ended by Kakashi stepping in between us.

From that day on, I became louder and more hyper than before - as if to cover the missing part of my father and the suddenly detachment from the music. Kakashi had tried to get me to join music clubs or to try teaching me himself, but I had steadily refused by declaring that it was boring and had better things to do. However, the truth was that I was afraid to pick it up again. I was afraid of the notes that would be composed by me and the emotions that came with it. I was afraid of the exposure of my emotions in front of the new family who I had soon grown attached to as the months went by. Although Kakashi had said it would be a shame to give it up, he didn't press any further.

Years later I would find my old violin at the back of a closet, gathering dust with the bow lying along side it on top of a pile of old books. I did think about throwing it away, but the instrument had sentimental values and I just couldn't find it in myself to do it.

--

I'm 16 years old now, sitting outside on a low stone wall and staring at the blank sketch book before me. I had for some bizarre reason decided to take up art as a substitute for music. Unfortunately I'm as shit as they come when the topic is on drawing. Although I do enjoy making patterns or surreal shapes and shading them in - when it comes to drawing anything remotely to do with reality I fail miserably hands down. Although, once I had manage to draw a demon fox with nine tails for a competition on mythical beasts, titled 'Kyuubi' (suggested by Kakashi) and had won second place.

However, nothing springs to mind. After an hour all that I could come up with was a stick person of myself being hung and stick person Sasuke with a mustache saying "Ho Ho! Fine failure we're having this summer!"

No guesses needed to say how bored I was feeling by this point. I lift my head to look around for inspiration.

Loads of people are passing by, getting on with their own lives just like I should be doing. I sigh and get ready to leave. Suddenly I catch a colour of red to my left, just a few steps away from myself. I never noticed this boy before. He was kneeling on the ground and concentrating on the image he was creating on the floor. I realize he's using chalk, smudging the colours together so that they would blend. I wonder what he's drawing?

Before I realize that I'm staring at him, our eyes meet and we both freeze. We're lost in our own time where in reality seconds are passing by, but in our eyes world minutes are zooming by faster than light. It is soon broken when he blinks and gets up, picking up his box to leave.

"Hey!" I call out, but it didn't do any good. He had already left and was out of my sight. With my sketchbook in one hand and pencil in the other, I make my way over to the spot he was at.

I try looking around in the vain chance of catching him, but it was hopeless. I look down to see what he has drawn, the sight of the image was breath taking.

The grey and white clouds in the background contrasted against the darker colour of the stone floor it was drawing on. The centre piece of the image was centered around the angel drawn. I was fascinated by the shades of colours on the wings. The way they blurred together made the feathers look soft to the touch, even if doing so might just ruin the image before me. But what had caught my eye was the human form of the angel.

He had tanned skin, blonde hair, blue eyes and three black lines marked on each cheek.

I was a portrait of me.

The thought of this red head looking at me, studying my feature to create... to create something beautiful nearly made my heart stop. I wish I could take it with me or take a photo of it, but since I cannot lift up the whole pavement nor do I have a camera - I make do with absorbing the picture into my memory.

Then I feel a drop of rain hit the back of my neck. Soon the chalk drawing has freckles of rain drops across it, doomed to be washed away.

For the first time in years I have a craving to play, feeling the itch at the ends of my fingers.

--

When I get back home, my clothes are only slightly damp. The rain was not heavy but it had still succeeded in obscuring the art work by that red haired boy.

As soon as my shoes are off, I run straight up the stairs towards mine and Sasuke's room - leaving the sketch book by the door.

I open the closet and stare at the dust-covered object before my eyes.

For a moment I am tempted to turn away and close the door to leave it alone for a few more years. But that thought was soon diminished as I reached out for the neck of the instrument, feeling the dust under my skin. I softly stroke the base of the violin, feeling the smooth polished wood beneath the grey mist, a shiny brown line shown as result.

I leave the room to clean it up and tighten the strings, not forgetting the bow that had faithfully stayed by the wonderful object's side. Once all the dust is cleared I go fetch a tin of rosin from Kakashi's room for the bow, in order to help play the violin by rosining the bow.

Once I have finish cleaning up, I stand up and nervously hold the string instrument in between my neck and shoulder. I'm not sure if I can still play, I'm not sure if it will even sound right... guess I can only try.

I start off rusty, the noise irritating to my own ears. But once I get the hang of how everything works, the notes begins to morph into gentle music. I close my own eyes and feel the notes come to life with every stroke against the string. It's almost like a calming lullaby. For a moment I could almost see the familiar heart warming smile at the back of my mind from the almost forgotten memory. I get so lost that I don't care about anything else once thoughts of the red head comes to mind. I go from a light to dark tone as the pace slows down a notch. Those eyes... I wonder if I'll ever see them again.

"I thought you said playing the violin was boring..."

I snap out of my thoughts and stop instantly, turning my head to see Kakashi with his arms crossed and Itachi besides him... holding a video camera.

"Itachi! Delete it now!" I panic for a moment, although I don't really know why. I'm embarrassed to be caught in the act of doing something I had abandoned a long time ago.

"Don't be foolish. I'm not the kind of person to leave his little brother out of a family event..."

"NO! Don't you dare show that to Sasuke!"

I make a mad leap towards Itachi, violin still in hand, and try to catch up with the older teen who was now walking slowly away. I could hear the word 'Youtube' murmured from his lips, making the fear and embarrassment worse.

"Itachi! Don't even think about it or else-!"

He merely turned his head, cutting me off in mid sentence, whilst looking at me over his shoulder without a single expression on his face.

"Oh? Are you sure that's wise Naruto? Hm?"

I then remember the last time I attempted to prank Itachi, which involved paint balloons and super glue, I soon found myself regretting it when Itachi managed to glue me to a chair and left me alone with the Tv playing a marathon of Barney the dinosaur. Never again.

I didn't say anymore as I felt Kakashi hold me back, watching Itachi walk away with the evil electronic. When He was out of sight, I sighed and stared at my shoes.

"God, just kill me now."

"Now don't say that Naruto... I thought you played really well. A little off key, but not bad for someone who had stopped playing for so long..."

"Well don't expect an encore, I was only doing it the once."

"Why?" Kakashi released the grip on my arm, his eyes looking surprised at my response.

"You looked as if you were enjoying it. So why stop now?"

"I just... I don't need to, that's all!"

I don't care if I'm not making any sense, I feel like an idiot now. Why didn't I just leave it alone? It's not as if I'm going to become a professional or anything. I can't even remember how to read music... I just know how to play it my way.

"Naruto... has this got something to do with your father?"

I felt as if a mental punch just hit me in the throat to stop me breathing. I really don't know why I'm getting upset about anything.

"N-no..."

I'm beginning to stutter and shake a bit, thinking of that smile I miss now... I've never had to talk about my father and how I felt. I covered it all with a mask. Now I've let myself down by letting this mask slip.

I feel Kakashi's hand on my shoulder, but I refuse to look him in the eye.

"Naruto... why did you play the violin to begin with?"

Whoa. That question threw me off track for a moment there. I'm not sure how I should answer.

"Dad taught me and... he enjoyed listening to me. It always made him smile and, well, that made me smile too..."

Why did I say that? I feel stupid admitting all this, especially since I don't even have to admit anything at all to begin with. But it does make me wonder, why did I want play the violin today?

"We would like to listen too..."

"Ha! Yeah right, then afterwards we can listen to Sasuke and Itachi make fun of me forever more."

I hear the low chuckle as my guardian taps my forehead hard. Ouch.

"Don't be silly Naruto... we wouldn't do that..."

"And to think, we would have known each other a lot better after all these years."

Must suppress urge to roll eyes.

"Anyway Naruto, what inspired you to pick it up again today?"

The first thing that comes to mind is the chalk artist with pale green eyes.

"That doesn't make sense, I haven't known him for long yet he..."

I go off into a daze before Kakashi brings me back to reality.

"He?"

Oh yeah, I spoke aloud. Oh well... I just shake my head and told Kakashi that I was going to my room for a bit. He looked as if he wanted to say more, but decided on letting me go and said he's call when dinner was ready.

I wasn't sure at first why I wanted to play my violin again. It was just an urge that itched until I gave in and returned to the closet where I left it. But now that I think of it... the face of that artist comes to mind, even though it was only for a brief moment.

Maybe he wasn't real. Maybe he was a divine being that came down to earth to give me back the will to play my neglected yet beloved instrument, like a muse or an angel...

Yeah right and maybe a purple monkey might fly out of Sasuke's ass.

Although it is a fun thought, on a serious note - I know he was real. Why did he run away? I don't know. Perhaps he thought I was going to get mad at him for looking at me?

...I wonder if he likes violins too?

--

I'm back at the same place I was yesterday, violin back in hand. I was trying to keep an eye out for the artist, standing on top of the brick wall I was sitting yesterday. Looking over the crowds, I attempt to spot the messy red head. Alas, no luck...

I don't know why I brought the violin with me today. Initially I was just going to go out and look out for the boy. But when I was about to leave the room, I felt as if I had to take it with me - like an instinct calling out to me.

Right next to my foot is the opened case Kakashi let me borrow. He caught me leaving the house with the instrument in my hand, and told me to put it in the case.

"After all, your father gave you that violin. You wouldn't want to damage it, would you?"

I stare at the object in my hand.

I wonder if I were to play it... would he hear it?

Resting the violin between my neck and shoulder, I begin to play. The beginning was utter crap and out of tune. But I continued onwards even though some people passing by started to heckle, putting me off my concentration. However, once my eyes are closed - I feel the sounds becoming better. I think of that boy, as if to use the music as a calling for him to come to me. I start to lose myself when the bow glides across the strings, notes pouring out and creating a new world in my mind.

Once I started, it felt like I couldn't stop. It was like I put myself into a trance, the song of the violin singing sweetly in my ears. I could think of all the happy and sad memories, as well as the nostalgic emotion currently within me. Letting each and every bit of me become notes to flutter away into the air, not caring about exposing my soul in front of strangers.

It felt like freedom, as if I was flying...

Eventually, the song had to come to an end as my fingers and legs grew tired. I finished off the tune, opening my eyes to spot the collection of coins that were now lying inside the case. Strange, I don't remember hearing any coins being thrown in there whilst I was playing. I must have really been concentrating.

"You play really well."

The quiet mono-toned voice nearly made me jump off the wall in surprise. I turn my head to the source of the voice, to see the red head artist very close to where I was standing. He was sitting cross-legged on the floor, staring blankly up at me with those familiar pale green eyes.

Oh dear I think I'm blushing.

"I... thanks."

Great. Now that he's here I don't know what to say now. I scratch the back of my head before saying anything further.

"I haven't played in awhile... I probably won't be able to play the same thing again, just made it up on the spur of the moment."

"I see." was his only response, as he lifted his hand to smudge the chalk into the pavement. That's when I noticed the new unfinished portrait of myself.

There is no background, just the figure of myself holding onto the fiddle with my eyes closed. There are etchings of faint white chalked wings behind me, uncompleted but looked ghostly. It really did look wonderful...

Damn, how could I NOT notice him right beside me after all that time?!

"You're really good." I say, wanting to start a conversation with him since I did originally went to look for him.

"Thank you... I could say you inspired me."

Although he did not put any emotions into his words, the words it self made me feel... happy.

"I guess I could say the same..."

Eyes returned to my own with the look of puzzlement. I fall into stuttering for a moment as I continue talking.

"I-I mean... the reason I came out today with this... I-I wanted to play because..."

I start to trail off, but the red head to my surprise urges me to continue.

"Well?"

I feel so stupid right now.

"...When I saw you and the picture that you did yesterday, I had an urge to play. Even though I didn't think I would ever pick it up again, I just really wanted to..."

I stop and stare again. Neither of us said a thing for a moment, before I started to chuckle nervously.

"My name is Naruto Uzumaki, what's your name?"

A long pause lingered for a bit, making me think that I wasn't going to get an answer.

"Gaara."

I smile brightly, finally knowing the name of my inspiration.

"Gaara huh? Glad to meet ya!"

I jump down from the wall and squat down next to him, making sure there's some personal space between us. I take a closer look at the drawing, carefully placing both the bow and violin one lap.

"Wow... I really liked the one you did yesterday too... but why me?"

"Does it bother you?"

"No! No, I'm really honored to be drawn and all but... I'm not that interesting-looking."

"I think you are."

"What?"

That answer surprises me, causing me to nearly lose balance.

"The way you position yourself, reminds me of angel's I saw once..."

...okay, he see's angels. That's nice in a slightly crazy way...

"In a church, not in crowds..."

He spoke as if he read my mind, green eyes returning to the picture and adding more grey to the shirt.

"...although, seeing you I could have been mistaken."

A small smile escapes his lips, making him look more handsome that before.

"Do my ear deceive me or are you flirting with me?"

"Why were you inspired by me?"

He changes the topic, his face returning to its stoic appearance. The sneaky voice in the back of my head starts saying something along the lines of 'Aww, how cute!'

But that voice is pushed aside as I respond to Gaara's question, not really knowing what to say.

"I don't know... I haven't touched the violin for about ten years, yet when I saw you I just got the urge..."

I pause, thinking about why I left the house and why I took the fiddle with me.

"...I think, I wanted to find out if you'd like listening to it. Even though I only saw you yesterday, I just wanted to call out... I'm not making much sense am I?"

I laugh, mentally beating myself to a pulp with a giant hammer. If this guy has a single sane bone in his body, he would tell me to leave him alone and stop trying to stalk him.

"No, I think I can understand..."

Well, I wasn't expecting that answer. Watching how his slender fingers glided over the growing image, I become enchanted with each and every movement. I snap out of it when I realize I'm staring.

"Sorry... I'm not bothering you or anything, am I?"

"Not at all... however..."

"What?"

"...Could you play again? If you don't want to I won't mind."

I wanted to laugh at how he said all that with his stoic voice, but I felt touched that he wanted me to continue with the violin. I smiled, feeling the same way I did whenever my father had asked me to play.

"Sure."

Once again the notes are played again, whilst Gaara continues to complete the picture. I'm glad to be able to play the instrument again, knowing that someone is happy to listen... maybe soon I'll be able to play in front of Kakashi, Itachi and Sasuke with confidence.

But right now, I'm looking forward to building this new relationship with this artist who gave me the reason to play again.


End file.
